The need to touch down

One day I was watching a panaromic rain scene on TV. I observed that some lightnings were followed by sudden bursts of rain. I thought, overly excited localities were dumping the extra energy in the lateral electrical dimension when ionisation potential was reached. This caused a sudden cooling down in the locality, leading to precipitation.

Then I thought, it must had been like this when the universe was first starting out it's evolution. The lightnings were it's 5 fields in some succession, and matter was it's rain. It was it's creative moment. This process is called Spontaneous Symmetry Breaking in physics. Rising on two legs was a creative moment of evolution for humans. Excess symmetry was dumped by freeing the hands. The creative moment works similarly for brains. When we mull over a problem long enough, we get a sudden flash out of the blue and realise a point. We get a touch down. Creative moments can be the sources of most intense pleasures. They are the purest orgasms of our minds.

In our more and more materialised world, we seek quick and definite solutions to our more and more intricate problems. We have come to expect rewarding sex through little tablets. We seek creativity through magic mushrooms and marijuana. We expect happiness in a short and expensive "romantic" getaway. But we soon realise that there is a prize for every quick fix.

When boredom arrives at the door of our inner selves, most ppl take up arms against it. Some drink, some smoke, some inject. Some go for a quick wank. Some abuse themselves. Drown themselves in work, in slavery for some arse hole corporation. Some abuse others and become soldiers and killing machines. We seek external solutions to an essentially inner problem. We try and scare it away. Mask it out. Drown it in alcohol. How can we like boredom? It is not a good feeling. If we can address it with a quick and easy solution, why not do it?

Boredom can also be a prelude to a creative moment. If you allow yourself to be bored for long enough, sometimes a sustainable and pleasurable solution comes out of the blue. After a while you may realize that boredom is a good thing. It heralds inner tension. Like weather before lightning and rain. If you ride it long enough, you finally get a flash inside. You may go for a long walk to nurse it. Take a pencil and paper and write it down. Draw or paint it. Tell a friend. Make it. After a while you seek boredom. You know it is good for you.

Long drowned boredom digs into our soul and covers itself. Makes a knot inside. It creates a tension. The space inside loses a part of it's coherence. Makes us biassed unconsciously. We become the knot that we tied and forgotten. If you keep ignoring your boredom, it finally makes an ensemble of knots inside and finally the person becomes a nut case. An alcoholic. A junkie. A freak. A derelict.

Sometimes you have no choice but ignore yourself. You may be poor. You may not be able to satisfy your most basic needs. You may be forced to bury your innermost desires for survival. You may have unhappy parents. Abusive parents. You may fall for wrong company. You may fall in love with the wrong girl. Sometimes it is just bad luck. You may be born in the wrong country to wrong parents.

Too many of us carry the inner knots to the grave and die unhappy. And maybe spend an eternity trying to find ourselves, life after life. Is the truth within? Is it my own self? Who am I? Just an elaborate concoction of chemicals, or something much deeper?